new sibling Archives - The Brave Little Mama

You can’t ever make a second first impression, or so the saying goes. When I found out I was expecting our second baby, I knew I wanted to try anything and everything to make my son’s first impression of his new baby sister the best it could possibly be. After asking A LOT of seasoned moms, I came up with a game plan. Here is what we did:

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Before Baby Arrives

Talk about their new sibling so they get used to the idea.
Read ALL the baby sibling books you can get your hands on. We have a ton and my kids LOVE THEM. These are our favorites:
Point out any and all kinds of babies – puppies, kittens, all the baby animals in any book or TV show they come in contact with. My son became obsessed with babies can couldn’t wait to have one of his own.
Talk to them about how they are also your baby.
If you are pregnant:
- Have them point to your belly and say baby!
- Let them feel the baby when it kicks.
- Have them kiss your belly and give them praise when they do!

The Initial Meeting with the New Baby:

If possible, have baby in bassinet or have another adult other than mom and dad hold baby.
- My daughter was born during flu season, so our first meeting was at home instead of in the hospital. The only extra step we took to accommodate for this was to have Riley playing outside when we arrived. We set up with baby laying on the bed so that he could easily get hugs and easily sit next to her.
Greet your older child(ren) before even acknowledging the new baby. Lots of hugs and kisses since they have probably gone a few days without seeing you. Make it all about them and how much you love them.
Introduce THEM to the new baby (not the new baby to them) and fill it with lots of compliments. “Adalyn, meet Riley your BIG brother. He is such a good sharer and he is wonderful at hugs and snuggles. You are so lucky to have Riley as your big brother”! – This may sound dumb but my son was BEAMING with pride when he met his sister.
Give them the option to hug, kiss, hold their new sibling but don’t force it. My son was ALL about the kisses but was not at all interested in holding his new sister. No big deal.
I took it a step further and wanted to help extend the goodwill we had created with the first meeting. To Riley’s delight, Adalyn had a Big Brother Bag of gifts prepared (here is a Big Sister option). One gift for the first week that she was home.
- Two of these gifts were in the $5-10 dollar range.One was a big brother shirt (here is a big sister option). The rest were from the dollar store.
- Every day that we opened a gift we make sure to verbalize, “Riley, look what Adalyn got you. She sure does love her BIG brother”!
- Whenever those toys were played with, we reminded him that they were from her. She is 2 now and he still talks about “Adalyn got me this stuffed horse and these dinosaurs because she REALLY loves me”

After the First Meeting

Give your older kid(s) ways to help you when you are holding or nursing the baby. Bring me a towel, the remote, my cup, the paci. etc. Anything to help make them feel included.
THANK them out loud when they help you. “Thank you Riley for xyz, that was SO helpful”
Talk about them to their new sibling so that they can hear, “Wow Adalyn, that was so nice of Riley to bring you a pacifier. You are so lucky to have such a helpful brother”.
When you are helping your older kid(s) and their new sibling cries, talk to the baby. “Hold on Adalyn, mommy is helping Riley”. I found this one to be VERY helpful in making sure that Riley didn’t feel like I was only tending to Adalyn.
Let your older child refer to their new sibling as “Their baby”. My son still takes SO much pride in introducing his little sister to new people as HIS BABY. When she was baptized he walked around church telling everyone and anyone that “the little girl in white with water on her head” was HIS BABY.
When possible, do special things with just your older child. If they are showing any signs of regression behavior, make sure to talk up how only big kids like them can do that. “Only BIG kids like you can go on this slide. Adalyn is still too little to have this much fun”!

We are now expecting our third child and thanks to COVID-19, we will be having another at home introduction. My husband and I plan to use all the same tactics to introduce our new little boy to his older siblings.