motherhood Archives - The Brave Little Mama

What’s In My Hospital Bag- The Second Time Around

Posted on February 18, 2018January 22, 2021 by TheBraveLittleMama

When packing your hospital bag, it is important to remember that some things are a MUST HAVE while other things are a NICE TO HAVE! There are dozens of different lists out there that make it seem like your entire hospital experience will be ruined if you forget something. Do not worry!! Even if you forget your entire hospital bag at home, the hospital provides a version of pretty much everything that you will need. I used a Weekender bag from Target for my hospital bag, my exact bag is not still available 2 years later, but this bag from Amazon is pretty similar.

I have had a lot of friends that are pregnant with their first ask me what I recommend they actually pack in their bags. Most of the items that I am bringing this time around are centered around my comfort and around convenience. Here is a list of what I am packing:

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For Mom

1. My own pillow in a colorful pillowcase

While the hospital does have plenty of pillows on hand, I would prefer to have my own pillow. My own pillow is much more comfortable (not that you really get the chance to sleep). Also a colorful pillowcase will look less sterile in photos. Technically, my pillow will probably not go inside of my hospital bag. If you forget your own pillow, you will be okay!

2. A Nursing Pillow

With my first baby, I didn’t bring a nursing pillow and instead used a few pillows to prop him up. For the most part, this worked fine. I will be bringing the My Breastfriend nursing pillow with me. It clips into place and I won’t have to deal with the pillows sliding out-of-place. Again, if you do not bring a nursing pillow, you will be fine.

3. A large drinking cup with a straw

Congratulations, you just had a baby. For the most part, you will spend your time at the hospital laying in bed with others waiting on you. In an effort to stay hydrated and allow my milk supply to come in, I was constantly drinking water. The hospital I delivered at provides small Styrofoam drinking cups which required my husband to refill it constantly. To save him the annoyance and to myself having to go a single second with an empty cup, I am bringing a large cup. This cup is my favorite! Again, we survived the first time without this and you will too if you forget to pack your own. I will probably save space in my hospital bag by stuffing random items inside of the empty cup.

4. Toiletries

The hospital does provide some of the basics, just like a hotel does. I prefer to have my products. I have a pre-packed a bag of my toiletries that includes duplicates of my everyday items. This eliminates the chance I will have to raid my bathroom to grab anything when I am in labor. I have also added products that come with added convenience face cleansing wipes that don’t require that you get to a sink, dry shampoo in case you are not up for a shower and mouthwash to name a few.

5. Make Up

I wish I was one of those women that gives birth and then looks like a glowing goddesses after. However, I am not. I do not plan on putting on a full face of make up while I am laying in a hospital bed. But, I do want to be able to freshen up my appearance before photos are taken and visitors arive. My hospital bag will contain just a few staple items: mascara, concealer, bronzer and blush.

6. A phone charger with an extra long cord

Chances are that you are going to need to charge your phone a few times during your hospital stay. Between taking photos of your new baby, making contact with friends and family or googling everything that you are embarrassed to ask the nurse or doctor, you are going to drain your cell phone battery quickly. We didn’t bring a long phone charger the first time around and my husband had to constantly bring my phone to me while it was charging. I found a 10 foot charger on Amazon and plan to use it this time around. If you may be alone at the hospital during your stay at any point, I would bump this item up from nice to have to must have for your hospital bag.

7. A pretty hospital gown (with matching swaddle for baby)

Without a doubt, this is not a necessary item that you MUST have. I love how lively and happy all of the floral robes look in comparison to the basic hospital robes that are provided (see photo above). I was freezing in the provided hospital robe and ended up wearing a fluffy plush robe that my husband went home to get for me. For this delivery, I found an awesome robe on Etsy that

has built-in opening for more incognito nursing. I struggled A LOT with my first baby and balancing having so many visitors with attempting to nurse him. This robe will make it easier to nurse without having to kick out my visitors and without having to feel overexposed while feeding her. You can read about that struggle, here.

8. Clothes to go home in

There are a few things to take into consideration when picking out clothes to pack for you to wear home. 1. You will still have a belly that is around the size of your 6 month pregnant belly. 2. You should be wearing the hospital mesh underwear + a huge pad or your own granny panties + a huge pad. 3. If you have a c-section, you will not want the waist of pants anywhere near your incision site. I am packing two outfits: Postpartum leggings and a long tunic top (comes way below my butt) assuming that I give birth vaginally and a long flowy maxi dress in case I end up having a c-section. I have heard of lots of mamas just wearing home the same clothes they came to the hospital in, so if you forget a change of clothes, you can always do that!

For Baby

1. Personalized hat

The hospital provides everything that your baby will need during your stay. Diapers, a shirt, a swaddle blanket and a plain white hat. I think the plain white hats are very generic and boring. Colorful/personalized hats make for much cuter photos! Etsy has a great selection of personalized hats! Chances are you will still know your baby’s name even if he/she isn’t wearing a special personalized hat.

2. Clothes to go home in

The hospital does provide a shirt, but not pants. You baby’s legs will need to be covered when going home. I will be bringing two sleep and play outfits. One sized Newborn and one sized 0-3 months. I will be prepared regardless of how big she is (fingers crossed she isn’t TOO big!!). Also, remember that a car seat strap will have to go between your baby’s legs. An outfit with actual pants vs. a gown will be much more comfortable for your baby. I will be delivering in March, which has very unpredictable weather here in Charlotte. So I will also have a fluffy blanket on hand to put on her, in the event that it is really cold out.

For Dad

1. Whatever he packs for himself.

Maybe I am a jerk here, but I am already responsible for myself and our new baby. My husband is a fully functioning adult and he can darn well pack for himself. Sure, I will help to remind him to get his bag packed, but I am not packing it for him.

2. Breath Mints

This item will be ALL the bags that come to the hospital. Pregnancy gives me a super strong sense of smell and zero tolerance for anyone with bad (if I can smell anything, it is bad) breath. While technically this item will be for anyone that may be come contact with me, it is listed as an item for dad since he will be with me the entire time. I want to focus on bringing a baby into the world instead of ducking someone’s exhales when they are talking to me. Breath mints are pretty cheap, so I have already added them to my purse so that I limit the chances that we will not have them if somehow I make it to the hospital without my hospital bag.

3. Snacks

This is also for your comfort, but the hospital will only provide food for you, the patient and not for him. Having snacks on hand will avoid anyone becoming hangry at any point in time. We had so many visitors that brought food, that we really didn’t end up eating the snacks. With that in mind, I still think it is always smart to have your own food available.

Commonly Recommended Items that I am not bringing in my hospital bag (and why):

A Nursing Bra–

My robe will provide all the cover that I need and I want to be able to reap all the benefits of skin to skin without having the fabric of a nursing bra in the way.

Socks-

The hospital I deliver at provides socks with non-slip bottoms that are thick and warm. I see this as one less thing to pack, plus I don’t own non-slip socks as an adult so it is also one less thing to buy.

PJs-

Giving birth is a messy, messy process and I have no desire for any of the wonderful P.J. pants to be anywhere near that mess for the first few days. During my two-day stay, I constantly had nurses coming in to check the pee-pad I was laying on (think of those pads you use to train puppies) for bleeding. Wearing P.J. pants would have made that process way more inconvenient and likely more awkward.

Towels-

The hospital provides towels for you to use and I have zero desire to risk getting blood on my own personal towels. Yes, their towels are not as large or as fluffy, but the two minutes I will be using them is not worth bringing my own.

Hair Dryer-

The hospital will provide a hair dryer. Again, it is not as nice as my own personal hair dryer is, but hair dryers are large and bulky. I don’t want to make room in my bag for my own and I survived just fine without my own the first time around.

A Diaper Bag-

Given that the hospital provides everything that your baby needs during your stay, the few items that I am bringing for baby will fit just fine in my own bag. I brought a diaper bag the first time. Aside from my husband carrying it in and then back out of the hospital, we did not use it.

Check out my 8 Must-Haves to Make Pregnancy Suck Less!

Instructions for Building an Easy Crib Platform

Posted on November 25, 2017October 27, 2020 by TheBraveLittleMama

Combining a few different ideas that I saw online, I decided to build a crib platform for my toddler’s mattress that would allow us to lower it an additional 3 inches. Really, we could have lowered it up to 4.5 inches, but I am pregnant so I wanted to still be able to lay him in the crib without having to drop him the last few inches. I had my plan in place, so I enlisted my dad (aka the man who owns a saw) to help me turn it into reality.

Here’s what we did:

Step 1: Measure the crib

From this step, I knew that I needed a crib platform that would be 27″ wide x 51″ long x 8.5″ high. Note, I opted to go a 1/2″ smaller than the actual measurements for length and width so that it would be easier to move the crib platform once it was in place. If you don’t have a tape measure handy, you can always look up the measurements of the crib mattress that you own. Most standard cribs are similar size.

Step 2: Cut your wood to size

My dad helped with this part (yay for dads) since I do not own a saw, yet.

2 x 51″ long 2 by 4 pieces

5 x 23″ long 2 by 4 pieces

6 x 8.5″ high 4 by 4 posts

1 x 51″ x 27″ x 1/2″ piece of flat wood

Step 3: Line up the 2 by 4s to make the frame then screw them together

We screwed 2 screws to connect the wood at each connection point (see photo).

Crib Platform — Riley LOVED helping Grandpa build!

Step 4: Put the 6 8.5″ post in place. Screw these into place

We also used 2 screws at each connection point to attach the posts (each arrow = 2 screws in the photo). It is important to make sure that when you are screwing the posts on, that the legs are all flush with the top of the frame. This will ensure that your legs are all the same length and that the crib platform is level.

Step 5: Put the top on your frame

Now that you have your frame and legs in place, you can put the top on your toddler’s new crib platform. Put the 51″ x 27″ x 1/2″ piece of wood on top and screw it to the frame. We put a screw in each corner and then added additional screws around the edge to connect it.

Step 6: Sand the edges

Once everything was put together, I ran sanded along the edges to get rid of any rough edges that might catch my crib skirt.

Step 7: Remove existing mattress platform from your crib

This step was pretty simple. Take the metal platform off of your crib. For us, we just had to remove 4 screws, remove the platform and then replace the screws since the same screws were also attaching the bottom of the crib rail.

Step 8: Put the crib platform in place

Once put together, the crib platform is pretty heavy. You will likely need 2 people for this to ensure that you do not damage your walls.

Step 9: Replace bed skirt and put your mattress back in place

Once your bed skirt is in place, you will not be able to see the unfinished wood of the crib platform anymore. Congratulations, your crib mattress is now 3 inches lower.

To read about the other two changes we made to our routine to help stop crib climbing, read about them here.

Skin Cancer, Me and Motherhood

Posted on October 23, 2017July 14, 2019 by TheBraveLittleMama

I am a red-haired, blue-eyed, fair-skinned woman. My arms and face are covered with freckles. I have been sunburned more times than I can count. After college, I started avoiding the sun which was made easier since I was no longer surrounded by all of the college pool parties and lake weekends. As I have gotten older, I have hidden from the sun more and more. I’m pretty sure I went 3-4 years in a row without visiting a pool, lake or beach. I purposefully pick out foundations that have sunscreen in them to help add an additional layer of protection. Every year I go to the dermatologist to have her check me over for spots that could indicate skin cancer. I think it is fair to say that I had become paranoid about sun damage to my skin.

Fast forward to the beginning of 2017. I had just given birth to my first child, a beautiful little boy when I noticed a spot on my back that wouldn’t heal. I couldn’t really remember when it had showed up but I knew that it had been there too long for comfort. I scheduled an appointment with my dermatologist, where I was diagnosed with a Basal Cell Carcinoma.

There are far worse varieties of skin cancer out there. Generally speaking, Basal Cell Carcinomas are non malignant cancers (they don’t spread elsewhere in the body) that appear as red or pink open wounds or scars. It is the most commonly diagnosed skin cancer, with 4 million cases diagnosed in the U.S. each year. Hearing all of that did not change the immediate panic that I felt hearing that I (wtf, bad things do not happen to me!!!) had skin cancer. The good news is that my doctor was able to remove the entire lesion on my back and prescribed me a lifelong schedule of being checked every 6 months.

How has my experience affected my decisions as a mother? A lot. I consider it my mission to protect my son’s skin from any and all unavoidable sun damage. This does not mean that he lives indoors or in a bubble but it does mean that we make a conscious effort to avoid direct sunlight. Here are the things that we do:

Hats

My son wears a hat anytime that he is outside. Sometimes he is less cooperative but for the most

He stuffed the hat on his head so that we would hurry up and go outside on a walk. 6pm and lots of shade on our walk.

part, he knows that the hat means that it is playtime and is therefore more than willing to let me put it on him. Our favorite hat is this one that we found on Amazon. Large brim, neck coverage, comes in a ton of color options and it snaps under his chin so he is less likely to remove the hat. It also folds up nicely so it can fit right into my diaper bag so we are never without it!
Sunscreen

Anytime we go outside, any exposed sun gets slathered in sunscreen. Our favorite is Blue Lizard SPF 30+ sunscreen for babies. He is a daycare baby 4 days a week, so we also have a bottle at daycare for any and all recess times.
Pants

We live in the South but that doesn’t stop us from wearing long pants throughout most of the year. Clothing provides more sun protection than sunscreen ever will. He doesn’t tolerate long sleeves as well, which is why we go with the pants instead. If it is a REALLY hot day and we are going to be outside for a longer duration, then yes, he wears shorts (I’m not completely mad!).
Full coverage swim wear

Building his swingset in the shade.

Define going “overboard” with sun coverage

There are a ton of long-sleeved rash guards on the market, but fewer swimwear options with long pants. Sunscreen washes off pretty quickly when submerged in water and other than our backyard pool, most pools are in direct sunlight. Whether we are at a lake, public pool or an inflatable pool in the backyard, we go with full coverage swimwear and swim shoes to cover every inch of his skin. Plus, I think he looks freaking adorable in his swim get-up! Swimsuit can be found here, and swim shoes here.
We play in the shade

We have been very mindful in where we play in our backyard. We built the swing set in the shade. We have the sandbox in the shade. Our backyard is surrounded by trees so that area is shady for most of the day. During the small part of the day that it isn’t shady, we don’t go outside. I had to adjust the brightness of his pool photo in this post dramatically to make his face slightly visible in the photo.

You might think that I am ridiculous or you might completely agree with me. Once your skin is damaged by the sun, you can’t reverse that damage. As my son grows up, he will reach a point that I don’t get to make every decision for him. He will likely make choices that don’t always keep him protected from sun damage. That’s why I am so over the top with avoiding any unnecessary sun damage now, while protecting him from sun damage is completely in my control. These habits we are making now, may even turn into lifelong choices for him (fingers crossed). Nothing that we are doing to protect him from the sun have affected how much he plays during the day or have decreased his happiness levels but they have set him up for a lifetime of healthier skin.

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4 Things I Learned from My First Baby

Posted on October 9, 2017October 27, 2020 by TheBraveLittleMama

I’m not the first to tell you, but becoming a mom for the first time is an experience that no one can really prepare you for. There are wonderful and not so wonderful parts of becoming a parent. I have learned a few lessons along the way and I am sure that as mt first baby grows up and our little family continues to grow, that I will continue to learn even more.

Life is SO much easier when you give up having a specific plan

Babies change constantly. No phase lasts for a very long time and the second that you think that you can plan around their “usual” timing- nap, feedings, awake time, your baby will probably change things up on you. During my first few months as a mom, this made me feel like a failure. Why couldn’t I figure out how to manage my baby better? My life became less stressful when I gave up trying to stick to a plan and make everything work perfectly. If baby is not having a good day or doesn’t nap like “usual” then we may not make it today, we may not go grocery shopping today and that is OKAY.

Give your spouse a break

The years are short but the days are long. Insert fussy baby, difficult breastfeeding, blow out diapers and some days are much longer than others. I spent a few of directing my frustration at my husband, who really didn’t deserve it. I choose to breastfeed- a decision that I am proud of and would do over again 100 times over- but along with breastfeeding comes a lions share of the childcare. My husband made up for this with cleaning, doing our laundry, waiting on me when I was trapped on the couch with a latched on baby. Still, some days I was so jealous that he barely lost any sleep and definitely didn’t miss any meals or showers that I would be angry at him. Rather than focusing on what he was doing to support me, I focused on what he wasn’t doing.

Accept help whenever it is offered

This one sounds like it should be intuitive but for me it wasn’t. I am an independent mama that prefers to be self sufficient. I love helping my friends and giving gifts but when the generosity is turned back on me I have a hard time accepting it. My mother and mother in law live close by and in the beginning I did not want to accept their help. I am woman and I got this- except maybe I didn’t, at least not all the way. There is nothing better than getting to take a long shower or go shopping alone **gasp** because your baby is happily snoozing on Nana’s chest. Accepting help is not weakness and allows you to take care of your needs.
Live in the now- be present

Babies grow up fast, too fast if you ask me. Looking back I wish that I would have spent less time plugged into my phone, preoccupied and less time not focused on my baby. If he wants to be in the swing for 45 minutes straight, saying “more” every time he starts to slow down, then guess what? I’m going to stand there pushing his little tushie on the swing for 45 minutes. If he wants to cuddle with me for 20 minutes before going to bed, I am going to soak up his snuggles and sit in that glider rocking him. Rather than focusing on what other adult things I could be doing, like eating dinner, plugging into my phone or watching the latest episode of This Is Us, I focus on him. There is going to come a day, a mean and awful day, that he doesn’t need me to swing him or doesn’t want me to cuddle with him anymore so I am going to take in all in while I can.