I first wrote about my experience with Polyhydraminos (high level of amniotic fluid) and induction with my second pregnancy. At the 39 week mark, my amniotic fluid levels were measured at 28cm. My doctor decided that we would induce labor that day. You can read about that induction experience here.
Fast forward to my third pregnancy.
Like my two pregnancies before, I had a normal, low risk pregnancy. However, this was my first pregnancy in which my baby wasn’t head down immediately. At the 28 week mark, my OB used a handheld ultrasound to confirm my suspicions. My baby was in a transverse (sideways) position in my belly. Until the 36 week mark, most OBs don’t get concerned with how baby is positioned . Still, I wanted to go ahead and do what I could to get baby re-positioned. I didn’t want to risk baby staying transverse and making it so that I would have to have a c-section.
I started with all the spinning babies techniques. Then added acupuncture. And then my chiropractor started using the Webster technique. I also tried every trick I could find on Google. Playing music at the bottom of my belly, putting an ice pack on his head and a heating pad at the bottom of my belly. I’ve lost track of all the different things I tried. When my 36 week ultrasound showed that baby was head down I was SO PUMPED !
At that same 36 week ultrasound, my amniotic fluid levels were still in normal range (18 cm). My OB still wanted to make sure that they didn’t go up at the end of pregnancy like they did with my previous pregnancy. She planned to recheck with a 38.5 week ultrasound. 10 days later, I returned for another ultrasound and my levels had risen to 25.75 cm. My OB determined that like before, we would proceed with an induction.
The Waiting Game
Unlike before, the hospital I would be delivering at had a long wait list for induction patients. My ultrasound appointment was on a Wednesday. My OB wanted me to wait until the following Sunday, when I would officially be 39 weeks before proceeding with an induction. Friday, the induction scheduler at my OB practice called to let me know that Sunday was booked. If for some reason an opening became available they would call me. Otherwise, she would touch base again on Monday.
The weekend came and went. No call. No induction. Monday morning I got the call that I was scheduled for 7:30 pm that night. 5:30pm rolled around and the hospital called to say that they were too busy. My induction was again rescheduled. Now it would be Tuesday morning at 7:30am. Tuesday 5:30am rolled around and they called to again say that they were too busy. I could call back in a few hours and see if they could take me.
Tuesday didn’t happen. Wednesday morning, the induction scheduler at my office called again. The hospital was still very busy with other laboring mothers. They were now ranking their medical induction patients based on risk and I was 5th on that list. They recommended I go ahead and schedule my 39 week visit just in case I didn’t get to be induced for the next few days. I was pretty frustrated and defeated after spending the last 4 days thinking it was “baby day” only to be left hanging.
Thankfully, I was able to get in with my OB that same day. She was just as frustrated as I was that the induction process was so delayed. To cover our bases, she wanted to do another ultrasound to see where my fluid levels were at since it had now been a week since we last checked. They again, had risen. Now they were at 29cm. In an effort to get my induction ball rolling, my OB called labor and delivery to offer to place the Cook catheter in office, so that it would already be in place if they would allow me to come in that evening to be induced. They agreed to the plan.
Its Baby Time
My OB practice has 3 locations, and the location we were at, wasn’t stocked with the Cook catheter that was needed. If I haven’t already mentioned how much I LOVE my OB, let me tell you. She is the best. Instead of saying too bad, she offered for us to drive to the other location, after hours, so that she could place the catheter so that I could still get my induction started that evening. So that is just what we did. It was after hours, so Rob got to play nurse and had the role of pushing the saline syringes that were used to inflate the catheter balloons. My Cook catheter was placed. at 6:45pm.
We left the office, picked up some dinner and then headed to the hospital for our 8pm check in. The check in process was smooth. We had our temperatures taken and answered a few Covid 19 screening questions. We went to Labor and Delivery and were then placed into a triage room. In that room, my IV catheter was put into place and I was tested for Coronavirus.
The hospital was still very busy, so while the plan was to move us to a L&D room once my Coronavirus test came back, they did not have a room available. On the bright side, the negative test result meant that I was done wearing a mask whenever the hospital staff were present. The Cook catheter was clearly doing its job because I was having a lot of regular contractions at this point. The room was very cramped and I was having a ton of back contractions.
Since a room was still not available, they decided to move me to a postpartum room instead. This would give us more room and would allow Rob somewhere other than a little chair to sit or lie down. Once in this room the plan was that I would rest as much as possible until either a room became available or the Cook catheter came out. Along the way of moving from one room to the other, my contractions changed- barely painful and no more back labor. We thought this was a good sign that I would be able to get some rest since it was midnight and I was tired.
Before attempting to sleep I decided to try and pee and while doing so, my Cook catheter came out. I rang the nurse, who then paged the doctor. The doctor came in to check and I was 6cm dilated. So after 20 minutes in the postpartum room, I was finally on my way to Labor and Delivery.
Labor and Delivery, Here I Come
Once I got there, I was told that part of the “too busy” issue was not that they did not actually have the physical rooms available, but that they did not have enough staff to cover all of their rooms. I got all hooked up to the monitoring machines. I still wasn’t really feeling the contractions, but according to the machines, they were still coming regularly. My epidural wore off during pushing for my first baby, so I knew I did not want to birth a baby again without one.
The nurse got me started on an IV and I napped while waiting for the anesthesiologist. The epidural was placed and then I went back to sleep. My nurse used one of those peanut balls to position me on my side. After a few hours, she came in to adjust me to the other side. But baby’s heart rate immediately started to decline, so she quickly flipped me back. Thankfully his heart rate immediately recovered.
At some point in the morning (I forgot to check the time), the on call OB came in to break my water, with the hope that it would help me progress since I was still at 6cm dilation. She broke my water, and then I went back to sleep. Looking back, I wish that I could go back to this moment and do it differently.
Around noon, we decided to check my progress as the doctor was considering adding pitocin if I was still not progressing. Little did I know, shit was about to get real. My nurse did her check and from her facial expression I knew something wasn’t right. She went to get the doctor who quickly came in with an ultrasound machine.
After a quick ultrasound, she confirmed that at some point during labor, my baby had flipped and was now in a breech position. I was 10cm dilated and his little butt was descending into my birth canal. She recommended an immediate emergency c-section. Immediately, I started sobbing. I don’t mean that subtle and quite type of sobbing. I was full on sobbing.
The OB went through a long list of risks and benefits of both attempting a breech vaginal birth and for moving forward with the c-section. I’m not sure I even heard most of what she said. I heard lots of concerns about death to baby, death to me, having to cut anything to get baby out if he were to get stuck. No thank you, I didn’t want a c-section. I didn’t want to risk baby getting stuck or want my cervix or bladder to be cut to get baby out. Making any decision was 100% not what I wanted to do. I didn’t want any of this to be my birth experience.
I felt paralyzed (and not just from the epidural) and unable to make a decision. My brain was running through a ton of thoughts- thoughts of how many women successfully birth breech babies, how many women die in c-section surgery, weighing all the risks and all the benefits. But I knew that as much as I wanted to try for a vaginal birth, the risk of something going wrong and my baby being hurt or dying was unacceptable. I could not risk his life because of fears for my own self, I would never be able to forgive myself if something happened to him. After giving verbal and written consent and I was rolled into surgery- still sobbing my eyes out.
Ready or Not, Here I Come
Being rolled into surgery was a strange experience. The room was filled with what seemed like a dozen people. A surgical team, a team for the anesthesia and a team to take care of baby once he was out. The anesthesiologist explained everything to me and asked that I tell him how I was feeling throughout. My IV catheter that had been placed earlier in the triage room was slightly positional, so with every new injection, my arm hurt. Looking back, I wish that I had asked for a new one to be placed. But I was still sobbing and could barely think beyond how scared I was and how much my arm hurt. Rob, my husband, held my non-catheter hand and kept telling me that everything would be okay and that he loved me.
I could feel movement in my abdomen, similar to how when your leg is asleep, you can slightly feel the pressure of your hand touching it, but there is no pain. I could hear when my baby was born and I could see him when they took him to be weighted and checked out. After an hour of sobbing and surgery, I was emotionally numb. I have never been one to cry when my babies are born, but I definitely felt more emotionally removed from the birth than with my other two babies. I felt like I needed to nap for a week.
Once my incision site was closed, my OB came to my side of the curtain to tell me that she was able to complete the surgery with only the traditional horizontal cut (she had been concerned that a vertical cut may be needed give how low in my birth canal baby was) and that she had done a super stitch which would make me a great candidate for a VBAC should I choose to have additional children.
We then went to the recovery room where they monitored my bleeding. I was told that I needed to start regaining feelings in my legs before I could be moved to my postpartum room. My bleeding was a little heavier than my nurse liked, so I was given additional IV fluids. After a few hours, my legs were still fairly numb so we stayed in the recovery room longer than expected. Once some feeling started to come back, we were off to our postpartum room.
I spent 39 weeks anticipating his delivery and in those 39 weeks, it never crossed my mind that I would actually end up with a c-section. Even when he was transverse in my belly, I never actually thought that I would end up with a c-section. To say that I was disappointed would be an understatement. I was and to some degree am still devastated. I have spent so many moments replaying my time in the hospital in my head. Questioning if I could have changed the outcome. If only we would have checked his position before we broke my water. Or if I would have been induced days earlier before my fluid levels got so high and gave him extra room to flip. The what ifs go on and on.
I felt like a failure when I agreed to the c-section. I could barely even talk about what happened during his birth without crying for the first few days. The first time I saw my incision after the bandage was removed, I cried. I felt like my body had been mutilated. It has almost been 4 weeks since Callen was born. I would be lying if I said that I was past all of my feelings of disappointment. But I am thankful to have my sweet baby in my arms, even if his birth didn’t go how I planned.
