I’m not the first to tell you, but becoming a mom for the first time is an experience that no one can really prepare you for.  There are wonderful and not so wonderful parts of becoming a parent.  I have learned a few lessons along the way and I am sure that as mt first baby grows up and our little family continues to grow, that I will continue to learn even more.

• Life is SO much easier when you give up having a specific plan

  Babies change constantly.  No phase lasts for a very long time and the second that you think that you can plan around their “usual” timing- nap, feedings, awake time, your baby will probably change things up on you.  During my first few months as a mom, this made me feel like a failure.  Why couldn’t I figure out how to manage my baby better?  My life became less stressful when I gave up trying to stick to a plan and make everything work perfectly.  If baby is not having a good day or doesn’t nap like “usual” then we may not make it today, we may not go grocery shopping today and that is OKAY.

• Give your spouse a break

  The years are short but the days are long.  Insert fussy baby, difficult breastfeeding, blow out diapers and some days are much longer than others. I spent a few of directing my frustration at my husband, who really didn’t deserve it.  I choose to breastfeed- a decision that I am proud of and would do over again 100 times over- but along with breastfeeding comes a lions share of the childcare.  My husband made up for this with cleaning, doing our laundry, waiting on me when I was trapped on the couch with a latched on baby.  Still, some days I was so jealous that he barely lost any sleep and definitely didn’t miss any meals or showers that I would be angry at him.  Rather than focusing on what he was doing to support me, I focused on what he wasn’t doing.

      

•  Accept help whenever it is offered

  This one sounds like it should be intuitive but for me it wasn’t.  I am an independent mama that prefers to be self sufficient.  I love helping my friends and giving gifts but when the generosity is turned back on me I have a hard time accepting it. My mother and mother in law live close by and in the beginning I did not want to accept their help.  I am woman and I got this- except maybe I didn’t, at least not all the way.  There is nothing better than getting to take a long shower or go shopping alone **gasp** because your baby is happily snoozing on Nana’s chest.  Accepting help is not weakness and allows you to take care of your needs.

• Live in the now- be present

  Babies grow up fast, too fast if you ask me. Looking back I wish that I would have spent less time plugged into my phone, preoccupied and less time not focused on my baby.  If he wants to be in the swing for 45 minutes straight, saying “more” every time he starts to slow down, then guess what? I’m going to stand there pushing his little tushie on the swing for 45 minutes.  If he wants to cuddle with me for 20 minutes before going to bed, I am going to soak up his snuggles and sit in that glider rocking him.  Rather than focusing on what other adult things I could be doing, like eating dinner, plugging into my phone or watching the latest episode of This Is Us, I focus on him.  There is going to come a day, a mean and awful day, that he doesn’t need me to swing him or doesn’t want me to cuddle with him anymore so I am going to take in all in while I can.